Friday, September 19, 2008

Forgotten Cookies

My mom was not known for her cooking or rather known for her good cooking. She is more "infamous" in that area. I was thinking about this because I am about to make her "forgotten" cookies.
A little background....Our family joke is that Mom's recipe for pork chops is this: heat the oven and cook the chops until they curl and then serve with apple sauce to rehydrate! When we were first married, my Mom would invite my husband and I over for dinner . We went once and then every other time Mark would insist on taking her out to a "nice steak" dinner. Mom always that it was just so nice and thoughtful of Mark...little did she know that Mark just couldn't stand her cooking!
There were a couple of things that Mom did do great. One, was my Grandmother's fudge. Everyone loved it and it really was great. She taught my daughter to make it, too.
The other item was her "Forgotten" cookies. These are basic meringues...whipped egg whites and sugar left in the oven over night, hence "Forgotten" cookies. For the last 15 or 20 years, she made a couple batches for every holiday because everyone loved them. When my nephew, who really loved the cookies, went into the Air Force, Mom would make an extra batch for Cathy to send to him. She so enjoyed the feeling of making people happy. She made these cookies with a broken oven but that just didn't seem to matter.
While she was in the hospital this past Thanksgiving, I felt a desire to try and make a batch for the holidays...it just seemed the right thing to do. I looked for her recipes and I found two...both with the same ingredients but with different measurements. I picked the bigger recipe because she always made so much. Boy, did I fail!!! They were either gummy and sticky or the wrong color...yech, they were just awful. I told her what had happened and she gave me some pointers but I think she was happy that she still held the secret to make the best Forgotten cookies.
Just like her, I won't give up....I am going to make them again this week but this time they'll be great! I've learned her secret ingredients: love and patience!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Write Details Down

When you are in the midst and knee deep in care giving, it is so easy to get overwhelmed! A quick tip: write details down! Whether it is on a calendar or loose paper, write dates and other information down. Store it in your Blackberry or on your computer but get the information down. When you or your loved one is ill, it is too difficult to remember the little things that you very well may need at a later date.
My family and I are going through this now. We are having to go back to the hospitals and rehabs to get discharge paperwork for an insurance policy. We noticed that the hospital had missed about 3 weeks of time! I knew the date Mom went into the hospital but I can't recall the date she left the ICU for the main floor and we can't remember the date she went from the LTAC back into the ICU! There were too many trips back and forth to the ICU to recall the specific dates. At the time, we were too upset and distraught with our Mom's condition to keep notes. Looking back, I realize we should have kept a little journal or log to keep this type of information.
It is very easy to get overwhelmed when dealing with eldercare issues. Always write down dates or any other information that can get lost with the passage of time.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Reduce Stress-Start Walking

It has been proven that walking does more than help you lose weight. Here are just a few good reasons from Realage.com to put on your shoes and get out there....

1. Creates a feeling of more energy

2. Improves your perspective-because of the circulation benefit, walking can help clear your head and improve cognitive brain function which can help you deal with a stressful situation.

3. Reduce the impact of disease-walking can reduce cardiovascular disease, decrease osteoarthritis pain, reduce the risk of colon cancer, protect against diabetes, and lower blood pressure.

4. Makes you happier-due to less stress, you can feel happier.

5. It's FREE

Anything that you can do to reduce stress in your life, will make you a better person. You will be a nicer spouse, a more pleasant daughter, and a more productive worker. Of course, less stress will make you a better care giver. It will help give you the strength to continue day after day.
If you don't have time for a full workout, park a little farther away at the grocery store. Walk up and down every aisle at the store whether you need an item or not! Take a 10 minute break and take a brisk walk where ever you are: hospital, at work, it doesn't matter.
Remember: the good effects of walking are accumulative throughout the day. A 10 minute walk, a quick walk with the dog, the few extra steps at the store...it does add up.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Aging IQ Quiz

This is an excerpt from the Aging IQ quiz prepared by the National Institute on Aging to get people more aware and in tune with the senior population.

These are true or false statements...answer in your head before reading the explanation!

1. American families have by and large abandoned their older members.
2. Depression is a serious problem for older people.
3. The numbers of older people are growing.
4. The vast majority of older people are self sufficient.
5. Intelligence declines with age.
6. If a person has been smoking for 30 years, it does no good to quit.
7. Extremes of heat and cold can be particularly dangerous to old people.
8. Snake oil salesman are as common today as they were on the frontier.
9. Personality changes with age, just like hair color or skin texture.
10. Many older people are hurt in accidents that could have been prevented.



1. False. The American family is still the number one caretaker of older adults.
2. True. Depression, loss of self esteem, loneliness, and anxiety can become more common as older people face retirement, the deaths of relatives and friends, and other such crises. Fortunately, depression is treatable.
3. True. Today, 12% of the U.S. population is 65 or older. By 2030, one in five people will be over 65 years of age.
4. True. Only 5% of the older population lives in nursing homes; the rest are basically healthy and self sufficient.
5. False. Intelligence per se does not decline without reason. Most people maintain their intellect or improve as they grow older.
6. False. Stopping smoking at any age not only reduces the risk of cancer and heart disease, it also leads to healthier lungs.
7. True. The body's thermostat tends to function less efficiently with age.
8. True. Medical quackery is a $10 billion business in the U.S. People of all ages are commonly duped into "quick cures" for aging, arthritis, and cancer.
9. False. Personality does not change with age. As we age, we just care less about what others think about us.
10. True. Falls are the most common cause of injuries among the elderly. Good safety habits, including proper lighting, nonskid carpets, and keeping living areas free of obstacles, can help prevent serious accidents.

So, how did you do? Did you learn anything new? Did the quiz help you identify any issues in your own family?

You can find the entire quiz and a whole lot more, on a fabulous caregiver website: www.FamilyCaregiversOnline.net

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Parenting Your Parent

I have noticed lately that the chief complaint from my clients is regarding their adult children. The kids mean well but they are not asking first. The kids think they are doing the right thing and they may go out of their way to help, but they are not asking their parents what they would like. It is very easy to fall into the trap of role reversal and parenting your parent. No one really wants that situation...the adult children don't like it and the parents don't like it either.
You have to remember that the aging parent is losing control throughout their lives: vision, hearing, driving, memory, etc. They need to have a sense of control in the areas that they can still manage. Whether it is talking about not living alone anymore or not cooking for oneself, the parent must feel like the decision is theirs and that their children are not telling them what to do.
Perhaps the senior is a fall risk and they should not live alone in their house. Instead of telling them that you are going to move them into a beautiful assisted living facility, you should discuss the options that are available. Maybe you and your parent interview a couple of in home care agencies and then let your parent decide which one to go with...of course, you would have already done the leg work. While now she is not alone anymore (which is what you wanted in the first place) , the plan feels like it was the parent's idea and everyone is happy!
Even if you still would like to explore the assisted living idea, make it seem like it is their idea. Ask open ended questions and not yes or no questions. ie: "Would you like to visit A place or B place today?" Just remember that you are still their child and they are still the parent and they deserve that respect even if their health and or mind is failing. It will make for a more pleasant time and a lot less stress, I guarantee it!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Tips For A Doctor's Appointment

Going on a doctor's appointment can be very stressful as a caregiver or a patient. Plan ahead and discuss issues with your loved one. If the appointment is for yourself, set some time aside and think about your own issues before you step in the exam room.

Here are some tips to help:

Before The Appointment
1. Make a list of all of the symptoms that have been experience or reported. How long do they last and how frequent are they?

2. Make a list of all recent significant illnesses. (Over the past 2-3 years)

3. Make a list of any allergic reactions and sources.

4. Make a list of all drugs that are being used.

5. Make a list of all health care professionals who are providing treatment. (Including any home care professionals)

During The Appointment
6. Write down information about what the problem appears to be. (A description is more important than a diagnostic name)

7. Make a list of any medications that are being prescribed, an explanation of why, and what effect they should have. Ask about the generic form-is it safe and available?

8. Write down information about when to take the meds, how much and how long.

9. Write down information about the side effects of each medication or interaction with foods or other meds.

10. Write down if there needs to be any changes in diet or lifestyle. Take the meds before a meal, after a meal, etc?

11. Make an appointment for a follow up visit or phone check up, not more than one week later. (Medicines can have strange effects on the older patient)

12. Ask the pharmacist to give regular capped bottles, if the senior can be in charge of their own medicines.

13. If there are any advers reactions to the new meds, call the doctor immediately!

It can be overwhelming at the doctor. Plan ahead and take paper. Remember, it is okay to ask the doctor to explain things again and it is okay to ask the doctor to repeat themselves.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Tips For The Family Caregiver

Please remember to take care of yourself. The better you feel, the better care you can give. Here are ten tips to remember. Go to www.familycaregiversonline.com for more ideas.

1. Care giving is a job and respite is your earned right. Reward yourself with respite breaks often.

2. Watch out ofr signs of depression, and don't delay in getting professional help when you need it.

3. When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.

4. Educate yourself about your loved one's condition and how to communicate effectively with doctors.

5. There's a difference between caring and doing. be open to ideas that promote your loved one's independence.

6. Trust your instincts. Most of the time they'll lead you in the right direction.

7. Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.

8. Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and a citizen.

9. Seek support from other caregivers. There is great strength in knowing you are not alone.

10. Caregivers often do a lot lifting, pushing and pulling. Be good to your back.

Remember, it is okay to need a break!