Friday, August 29, 2008

Stess and the Caregiver

It seems that stress is all around us. I was at a luncheon yesterday and the speaker talked about stress and how to handle it. I think that it can help to know that everyone has stress in their lives. You are not unique or alone if you feel very stressed out. The difference for most people is the way they deal with stress. Some people can't handle it and they "take to the bed". They pull their sheets up and ignore everything. That is not really going to work....unless it helps you come to terms with what is going on in your life and you feel better and ready to take on the world. We learned yesterday that it is so important to have an outlet and not internalize the stress. That is when you have real medical problems from the stress. Remember to eat right and get physical exercise.
If you are caring for a loved one in a hospital setting and you are going to be there for several hours, bring some tennis shoes with you. Take 10 minutes and go walk the halls briskly. Do this every hour and that will help relieve some tension.
If you feel trapped in your house caring for another, call a friend for some respite help. If your loved one is in a wheelchair and is up for it, both of you go for a walk and get some fresh air. Care giving, whether for a child or a parent, can be tremendously stressful. You need to find a way to deal with it effectively because your loved one can sense it from you.
There are lots of great tips at www.stress.org
Have a nice Labor Day weekend!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Texas State Fair Fried Balls of Fried on A Stick

We laughed so hard this morning at the breakfast table. I was reading an article about the new foods for the Fair this year in Dallas Morning News. The vendors will offer such items as a fried grilled cheese sandwich, fried banana split, chocolate covered strawberry waffle balls ON A STICK and my favorite: "Fire and Ice".
Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Mr. Gonzales' deep-fried pineapple – the "fire" – is topped with banana-flavored whipped cream that's been frozen in liquid nitrogen – the "ice." The concoction is then covered with syrupy strawberries and served in a waffle cone.

It's safe to eat, and Mr. Gonzales said kids will enjoy a fun side effect: After placing the frozen whipped cream in your mouth, you can blow smoke out of your nose and mouth when you exhale.

It's half tasty treat, half science experiment."

We thought that was the craziest "food" we have every heard of...Glad to hear it is "safe for the kids". Go to the Metro section from 8/28/08 and read all about the fried balls of fried waffle batter covered in sugar and syrup on a stick!!!

I hope everybody who eats these foods also has long term care insurance...they will need it!

We can't wait for the Fair!


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sandwich Generation

As I was surfing the web today, researching for a speech about the "Sandwich Generation", it became apparent that everything out there was negative! Being a part of the "Sandwich Generation" has somehow become a bad thing. All of the articles pointed to the stress involved of being tugged by your kids, being tugged by your parents, being tugged by your job and being tugged by your marriage. Whatever happened to being thankful that you have kids, parents, a job and a marriage? Yes, I know first hand the stresses of caregiving with kids and a husband and a job at home. I also know what fun it is to go to your son's hockey game and your daughter's lacrosse game. I also know how rewarding it can be just sitting quietly and watching Law and Order or Monk with your mother in the hospital. If life becomes too overwhelming and you become too stressed, as it will do from time to time, you need to find a solution to the problem. Do you need to cook less, do you need help with the housework, do you need time to workout, do you need someone else to sit with your mother or aunt...? You must first figure out what you need most and then ask for help. You can ask family or friends or if you are financially able, you can pay for it. You can hire a chef, you can hire an errand runner, you can hire a housekeeper or you can hire a caregiver to help take the burden off of you. That is a foundation of our business....caregiving! If you don't have the time to help out and you do it anyway, things will turn out rotten and stressful. When you have another caregiver go in, it will make the time you spend with your mom or dad much more pleasant. You can't change how the world works but you can change how you see the world!

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Snowcone Theory

I have never really appreciated the snow cone. It melts a little too quickly, then it drips on you and you get sticky. Your tongue and lips become dyed an unnatural color. All for what? A little shaved ice with sugary flavored syrup? I really don’t get it…but my Mom did.

Every summer in August, when we would be experiencing several days of 100 degree weather, the Dallas Morning News would run the annual story on some fantastic snow cone stand in the area. For some reason, they were always 30 miles away from my house. The next day, my mom would call and inform me that she was coming over to pick up the kids and take them to the snow cone stand. They would pile in the car and without fail, 25 minutes after they left; she’d call to say that they were lost. I’d get on the internet, figure out where they were and put them back on course. At least 2-3 hours would go by and they would return with their blue and green tongues, and proceed to tell me that the article was right on the money. The ice was shaved just right and the flavors were delicious….whatever!

This last August was a bit different. Of course, the weather was still unbearable and the paper still ran the obligatory article about the latest and greatest snow cone stand. And, of course, Mom called the next day to take the kids to try it out. But this year my son was busy, so the adventure was going to be with just my daughter. Corie had her driver’s permit this year so she was able to do the driving and mom could concentrate on the navigation. But alas, 25 minutes later I received the phone call to pull up the map and get them back on course. Thank goodness for cell phones! After the .69 snow cone, Mom then took Corie to the new upscale $3.00 cupcake boutique to check that out as well. Upon arrival home, we heard all about the yummy snow cone but overpriced, dry cupcakes.

This trip turned out to be the last time, though. A couple of days later, Mom had an unexpected turn and landed in the hospital. After 9 long months, she passed away in late May. As my brother and I were going through some papers in her desk, we found several yellowed, clipped newspaper articles. She had saved all of the past articles on the snow cone stands…I guess if the paper ever stopped running the August story, she would still know where to take the kids!

The weather is now unbearable, school is on the horizon and so it is time for us to go cool off with a delicious snow cone. For the first time, I’m looking forward to discussing the virtues of various types of shaved ice and syrup with the kids. I can’t wait to have blue lips! I have finally seen what my mom did: it’s not the snow cone that’s important; it’s the time spent getting there together! We all need to realize that life is a voyage to be lived and shared with family and friends.

Birth is a beginning, death a destination and life is a journey.

One Year Ago

Friday, August 29th, will mark the one year anniversary of when my Mother went into the ER. It will also be the three month anniversary of her death. My intention for this blog is to help others who unfortunately are going through the health care maze with their own parents or family members. My family and I have learned a lot about life, hospitals, care giving, the importance of friends and family, lung cancer and a host of other very important topics during the past 8 years. I have not only lived it personally but also professionally. I am the President of Apple Care and Companion, a non medical home care agency located in Dallas. My Mom, a licensed social worker, was the Administrator. We were fortunate enough to have worked together for about 18 wonderful months.